Bat-Nipples & the Worst Movie Ever Made

Happy New Year!
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What are Bat-Nipples?

You might be wondering that if you took a gander at REL’s post. If you already know what they are, you probably had a good chuckle as I did.

For those who aren’t “in the know,” here’s a bit of Batman movie history for you.

After making two great Batman movies, Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992), director Tim Burton departed from the franchise. A director by the name of Joel Schumacher took the helm of the Bat-Boat and charted a course for campy crap land.

Batman Forever (1995) … something was off about this Batman. The costume had some odd and extremely obvious rubber nipples… but the movie wasn’t too awful.

Then came Batman & Robin (1997), and what a steaming pile of crap that movie was.

I’m not exaggerating, this movie was a special kind of bad. If you haven’t seen it, count your blessings. In order to save you some pain, and maybe get a few laughs at Mr. Schumacher’s expense, I present to you, Batman & Robin condensed down to 10 minutes (The maximum allowable dosage of Batman & Robin according to FDA guidelines… this video actually really funny):

Not only was the movie terrible on an epic level, but along with all of the camp, bad writing, acting, costumes, and editing, the Bat-Nipples were back, and bigger than ever. To top  it off, Mr. Schumacher’s ultra tight shots of the character’s chests, crotches, and rear-ends only served to underscore the significance of these oddities.

Batman's Bat-Nipples
Batman's Bat-Nipples
Close Enough
Close Enough

Bat-Nipples and Batman & Robin in general have been a punch-line in the geek community ever since.

To top all of this off, Mr. Schumacher actually ended up apologizing fans for Batman & Robin:

Sometimes sorry isn’t good enough Mr Schumacher.

6 thoughts on “Bat-Nipples & the Worst Movie Ever Made

  1. In particular, I LOVE the line: “Hi Freeze… I’m Batman”. But it’s not Batman… it’s George Clooney, playing George Clooney in a Batman mask. Poor George Clooney.

    But there’s far worse in this movie… George Clooney took responsibility for killing the Batman franchise, but we know that Joel Schumacher made this movie so relentlessly, stunningly, delightfully bad.

    -“24 Hours to Midnight: The Blog!”
    our favourite bad movies, reviewed in haiku
    http://24hourstomidnight.wordpress.com

  2. Very cool. I am going to link to your article in a story about superheroes. I hope that you have recovered from Joel Schumacher ruining your dreams with his homoerotic interpretation of Batman.

    I get the same feeling when I think about David Goyer fraking up “Blade: Trinity,” so I know your pain.

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