Wolverine is Weak

I decided to take a break from school work this evening to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine and all I got was this blog post.

It wasn’t very good and I am going to tell you why without spoiling the film too much (My last point has a very cryptic spoiler… and I don’t mean to brag, but I think my last point is better than the actual reveal in the movie).

Three claws down
Three claws down

Wolverine who?

I’m not sure who the main character is, but I am pretty sure it’s not Wolverine.

Way too many characters

It was a “who’s who” of Marvel characters who like to kill people. Half of them should have been edited out to make room for some proper character development.

Identity crisis

This movie didn’t know what it wanted to be. Sometimes it reached for sentimentality and character development, then it would snap back to a shallow action movie. Either would have been fine, but both made the movie feel schizophrenic.

PG-13

Let’s paint a picture… You have two main characters. They both have claws, and they both can regenerate from nearly any wound. These two clawed and immortal characters hate each other (for reasons that were not laid out very clearly). Why the hell aren’t the fights brutal? All they do is dig there claws into the other’s chest – what a cop out.

Did Wolverine even stab anyone? All he did was destroy property and make his claws spark (which doesn’t even make sense in a world where people can shoot lasers from their eyes).

Wolverine and Sabretooth do two things – they heal, and they slash. How can you make a fight sequence with these guys interesting without the slashing?

And another thing, Sabretooth’s dog running charge attack. Why did we have to see him do that so many times?

The “I’m the best at what I do” stuff doesn’t fly when you don’t kill people.

The endings

All of the endings sucked – All three of them. How do you tell a story with three different endings and not have a decent one in the bunch?

Don’t bother staying through the credits for the remaining two endings. They aren’t worth your time.

Deadpool (Slightly spoilerific)

Deadpool is also known as the “Merc (mercenary) with a Mouth” which horribly ironic.

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