The Song Remains the Same

As you may know, I like Guitar Hero. It’s a fun game, but the Guitar Hero/ Rock Band franchises are getting played out.

Yesterday marked the formal announcement of Guitar Hero 5, Band Hero, Guitar Hero: Van Halen, and DJ Hero.

You can add that to Rock Band The Beatles and Lego Rock Band – yes, you read that last one correctly, and no, it is not a typo.

Here’s the thing… Guitar Hero was hugely innovative (emphasis on “was”). It is still a fun game and franchise, but there are too many versions and I know I am getting tired of it.

There better be something special about each of these games. Now, I am not just going to point out flaws without offering solutions, so I come bearing ideas.

Rock Band The Beatles

This game can be bold and different!

As the game progresses, the audience should become so loud that you cannot hear the music over the screaming crowd.

The band’s score should be completely unaffected by the performance of the drummer.

If you are playing at home, you should also put fourth a serious effort to dislike at least one of other person in the band.

Lego Rock Band

The Lego series of games is strikingly good, but I think we can all agree that this game has no right to exist. Spicing it up is a must.

I think that the Lego band should be playing in dangerous locations. If the band fails a song, they are destroyed. Here are a few examples.

  • The stage is a dog bowl. If you fail, a bulldog eats the little guys.
  • The band is playing in a microwave. Failure turns on the microwave and everyone into little puddles. FATALITY!
  • Something with firecrackers.

Guitar Hero 5 & Band Hero

I’ve got nothing. I hope they continue to improve the experience and pick good songs. Making both of these feels unnecessary.

Guitar Hero: Van Halen

The game must find a way to foster conflict between the guitarist and vocalist, ultimately forcing the band to change vocalists between sets. Prior to the last set, the bass player get’s the boot and is replaced with the guitarist’s son.

On a side note, I like Van Halen in small doses. I am also not so big on tapping. This game would have to come with an incredible track list for me to buy it.

DJ Hero

Oh boy! This game had better be magical.

I am looking into the future, and future me HATES everything about this game, from the stupid controller, to the repetitive clubbing music that will make me want to vomit.

And I thought a plastic guitar was stupid
And I thought a plastic guitar was stupid

I hope they do something cool with this, but the concept seems derivative and boring.

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