Cancel the Oscars, Here’s “Battleship” the Movie

Sure adapting the classic board game Battleship for a movie seemed a little strange, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the movie would be a WWII naval extravaganza like Pearl Harbor (without sucking), or some Cold War ear Hunt For Red October with more explosions and less Alec Baldwin. Nope.

Now that some trailers are available it’s clear that “adapted’ is the wrong word, “mangled” is more accurate.

Judging a movie by the trailer is typically a bad idea, but this is clearly the proverbial exception. This dreck looks like someone dumped Battleship (the game) and Transformers 2 into a Blendtec Blender for a rousing game of “Will It Blend?” The answer is, yes, it will blend, but I wouldn’t recommend drinking it.

That trailer looks like it was yanked from Michael Bay’s porn collection.

I dub thee, Battleshit.

(Image via IMDB)

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