Author: rellbell

My computer is dying! yay!

My computer is dying.  A slow and painful death.

It hums.  It moans.  It groans.  It hisses.

It gurgles at me.

Apparently this is the sound of a laptop’s motherboard and hard drive simultaneously giving up.

I’ve had this HP Pavilion since August 03, the summer before I left for college.  It’s survived.  I used it for three and half years of school, during which I’m sure a few droplets of a Malibu Baybreeze here or there caressed it’s insides.  I ferried it back and forth to the city when my job demanded it of me.  It survived countless moves from CT back to NY for vacations or residency changes.  It was the little engine that could.

This computer has always been on the verge of death.  I don’t know how many times David has reformatted this thing and slowly brought it back from the grave.  I’ve had to send it back to HP in the middle of the semester my junior year so they could tinker with, never mind how many papers I’ve lost because hey, maybe it will just turn off mid-sentence.  I’ve brought it to computer centers, and even those morons from Best Buy’s Geek Squad have had the pleasure of trying to resuscitate this thing.

Oh, how nice.  As I type this I hear and feel this machine struggling with life.  It’s as though a rumble pack is attached to it.

My CD drive is completely broken.  It’s missing essential programs and system operations.  The fans don’t work so I use a cooling pad underneath it.  The screen can’t be lowered, and the mechanism that dims the monitor had to be turned off since it would spaz out and go to black.  I’ve seen the blue screen of death numerous times in the past two years.  Some days the internet access slows down so much that everything constantly times out.  I can’t access the button functions on the side to control the volume.  It’s eaten through a pair of speakers.  Sometimes it decides to disable my security programs and all of my USB ports are loose.

Did I mention the gurgling?

HP as a brand and in terms of durability isn’t totally worthless, but their customer service, troubleshooting and warranties all are. However this laptop has definitely prevailed where other better treated and maintained machines have crumbled. Seriously, I have never taken good care of it.

The advice that David has given me, that you should all follow as well, is BACK UP what is precious to you.  I’ve put most of the things I care about on my external hard drive already, and will continue to do so until my laptop officially expires.

Share with me the experience of my computer’s impending doom!  If my computer had an iPhone (or was a sentient being for that matter..) it would totally have the iDie app on it.  But unlike the zombies I love so much, when this thing dies again, I don’t think it be able to rise from it’s own digital ashes.

At least I can still read my favorite web sites!
At least I can still read my favorite web sites!

Remember kids, you don’t have to reload a pick-axe!

Whilst facestalking, I came across a rather interesting site from a friend’s new profile picture.  Since I believe I’m destined to one day become a vigilante with my friend Steven Fleet, I’ve jumped the gun, or rock pick if you will and picked out my costume… the name needs a little work, but I’m liking what I’ve got so far:

Remember kids, you don't have to reload a pick-axe!
Remember kids, you don't have to reload a pick-axe!

You can design your own super hero identity here: The Hero Factory
Added Bonus: Cheesy 80s background music!

(Don’t) Be very, very quiet…

I like music. That’s an understatement. I LOVE music.

I’ve been into music since I was in the womb. No really, I have been. I can’t play it worth a damn, but boy do I love listening. When I first got my new car, it came with XM radio. Although sometimes it felt like it wasn’t much different than the normal radio in terms of variety, I did get turned onto a bunch of new bands. And the whole tell-me-exactly-what-i’m-listening-too feature was great. Oh, how i miss thee XM.

Another great way to find out new music, or get your greedy little piratey hands on singles, are music blogs. Music blogs will either be naughty and steal music and upload it to servers for people not quite unlike myself to download until the record labels tell them to take it down, or record labels will be AWESOME AND NOT EVIL and allow these sites to host new and unreleased tracks. Either way, it allows people to share the music that they love with others. If you like one band, there’s a good chance there’s a similar band on these online mixtapes.

The Hype Machine is my favorite search engine to find songs. You can get great live tracks, covers, hard to find b-sides, and so many other great new bands that you never even knew existed. You can listen to most of the songs without even leaving the homepage, or you can troll through the blogs they compile.  Using the “Spy” feature on the site, you can even see what other people around the globe are listening too!  How RAD is that? (Read this post’s comments, you’ll get that last bit)

Happy Hunting!!

“first, let’s get you into something that won’t get me arrested for solicitation…”

Last night, instead of doing things like writing any number of Geek Whisperer posts I’ve been promising to David, I watched the new Wonder Woman animated feature. I thought it was great. Uplifting. Powerful. Pulsating…? Getting an image in your head?  No, your other one.  I’m talking about the penis.  Oh, yes, because although it’s certainly an inspiration to little girls everywhere, what with the female empowerment and all, it’s also an inspiration to teenage boys’ genitals.

If only they drew it from the other side...
If only they drew it from the other side...
The only reason women wear layers is to taken them off
The only reason women wear layers is to taken them off

Wonder Woman

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re shocked that I’m using DC characters in a sexually explicit blog post.  But come on!  Here you have the new version of Wonder Woman, and yet she’s never been so close to her original character.  Remember David’s post about the perverse nature of her original arcs?

This movie really makes the innuendos for me…

Subtle innuendo?
Subtle innuendo?

I definitely recommend this movie for any fans and would be fans out there… but don’t show it to your 13 year old brother/nephew/son/etc. unless you want sticky socks in your washing machine.


This movie has zombie Amazons in it!  Added Bonus!