Category: TV

Finally Understanding Star Trek

I like dire fiction.

Battlestar Galactica

Humans driven to near-extinction by their own robotic creations struggling to survive.

The Wire

The War on Drugs in Baltimore, shown equally from the perspectives of the police and the dealers, never depicting either side as overwhelmingly good or evil. It’s just a mess.

Firefly

Humanity expands to the far reaches of the galaxy, but installs a tyrannical, monolithic government that causes horrible problems for its people.

Dollhouse

A pharma-tech company creates a way to program human brains. Terrible, terrible things ensue.

Learning to Love Star Trek

This list could keep going, but the point is that I am typically drawn to dark, gritty, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad-type fiction.

Throughout my decades of love for science fiction and science fantasy, I never enjoyed Star Trek. At different points in my life I thought it was “too cliché,” “too geeky,” “too boring,” or more recently, “I can’t picture actual humans living on the USS Enterprise.”

Too Cliché

Wrong. Most of the stuff I thought was cliché in Star Trek was created by the show.

Too Geeky

No one is perfect. One of my flaws was believing that lines could be drawn, “I may be a geek, but I’m not that big a geek.”

It was dumb, and it took a ton of people recommending the show for me to realize that I should swallow my pride and enjoy it.

Too Boring

It’s true that Star Trek and Star Wars are dramatically different types of stories.

The Enterprise is a research vessel, and most of their conflicts are derived from local planetary politics and scientific discovery. Whereas Star Wars is an epic war story.

But I love politics… So it was enthralling.

“I can’t picture actual humans living on the USS Enterprise”

My crass way of explaining why I couldn’t get into Star Trek was, “I can’t picture anyone taking a dump on the Enterprise. It just doesn’t feel real to me.” I still can’t.

After watching 176 episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, I finally get it (I got it earlier in the process, I’m just getting around to writing it down).

Star Trek isn’t about the future. It’s about the future that you want. It’s a beautiful future where the sick are easily healed. Where anything you desire exists in abundance. Where people get along with one another regardless of externalities. Where the primary struggle in life is making yourself better as an individual.

It’s a beautiful future, and one that I am happy I experienced.

The Measure of a Man

Season 2, Episode 9 is entitled The Measure of a Man. It features a trial to determine whether the android Commander Data is a sentient being deserving of the same rights as any other citizen.

This is one of the most beautiful hours of television I have ever seen. It’s a masterpiece so fine it made me weep.

Try it. See Star Trek at its best. it’s a hell of a journey.

My “Breaking Bad” Finale Predictions

I’m just assuming if you made it past the headline that you know what’s happened in “Breaking Bad” thus far.

Here’s how I would end this monster of a series…

Hank

Hank’s about to get gunned down by some psychotic skinheads (I know that’s redundant).

Walt is going to be actually devastated. When he’s in his Heisenberg persona, he’s callous and evil. When he reverts back to Walt, he still has feelings for his family.

It’s cool because Dean Norris is busy being a badass villain in “Under the Dome.”

Junior

They’ve been setting up a car crash for Junior for a long damn time.

He’s going to get into a fatal car crash after learning his father’s dark secret.

This will crush what little is left of the White family.

Marie

Marie is going to recover from some kind of psychotic break after losing her husband. By the end of the show, she will have custody of Holly, Walt and Skylar’s daughter.

Skylar

Skylar will avoid jail, but will suffer the cruelest fate of the show having lost everyone she cares about because of her complicity in her husband’s crimes.

Walt

Walt is going to avenge Hank and protect everyone he loves by killing Lydia, and then going after the skinheads.

He’s going to smoke the ricin cigarette while mowing down the neo-Nazi scum with that big belt-fed machine gun Scarface style (which they foreshadowed way back).

No one kills Walter White except for Walter Fucking White.

Jesse

Jesse is redeemed. He’s relocated somewhere else, and emerged from this insanity as a changed man. He has become a high school chemistry teacher.

The series concludes with a shot of Jesse delivering the same lecture on “change” that Walt gave his class at the beginning of the series.

Mic drop.

Or… Maybe we’ll find out that New Mexico never existed, and they’ve all been dead the whole time.

Two New Piracy Warnings To Punish Legit Customers

You know what’s awesome? Punishing your paying customers for buying instead of pirating material.

We’ve seen it before with intrusive DRM, and now DVD buyers are getting another dose.

The US Government is mandating that two unskippable anti-piracy warnings appear at the start of movies. These warnings will stay on-screen for 10 seconds each.

Why’s This A So Dumb You Ask?

Because if someone is ripping the movie, they can edit these stupid warnings out! Never-mind if the warning makes sense… The people who are supposed to receive the message won’t (and if they did, they still wouldn’t care). While those of us who do buy DVDs will now be subject to a 20 second threat that doesn’t pertain to us.

I feel like I’m back in elementary school, and the teacher is scolding the whole class for something that a few of my classmates did.

To hell with Hollywood. It’s bad business to make it hard for people to buy your product, and it’s pathetic to punish, chastise, and threaten your paying customers.

(Via Ars Technica)

Free Comic Book Day 2012: Saturday, May 5

Free Comic Book Day is this Saturday, May 5 – The day after The Avengers hits theaters (probably not a coincidence).

Go on down to your local comic shop. They’ll have tons of free stuff, and great sales.

Personally, I’m going to pick up my copies of the Star Wars/ Serenity and Buffy/ The Guild (Don’t judge if you’ve never seen Buffy. That show is magnificent).

Check out a full listing of the free books.